There is a new spotlight and fab film line. And if you wanna know what Ben would look like in about 30 years take a look at this picture!

JUNE 26, 2004 - A MEMORY OF SORTS
A warm night with a soft breeze in the air. Laying on the bed, a book is resting on my chest. A glance at the clock tells me the time. I get up and stick a CD in the stereo by my desk and grab a bottle of water. As music fills the room my mind wanders to another time & place. Is this a memory? Is it a dream? I am not even sure I know. But I do know that my heart aches for it.

JUNE 25, 2004 - ONE MORE WEEK
I am so happy that it is Friday! Because that means ...

I have more pics of my cute new kitten (she is so adorable) that I took last night. Go here to see.

JUNE 24, 2004 - MUSIC NAZI - PART 2
So get this after complaining to me the past month about my music she finds out today that is IS NOT my radio that she has been hearing - it is someone else's (someone else that sits right next to her) this entire time! Does she come apologize or anything? NOOOOOO! Ugh...well at least it isn't my problem anymore!

JUNE 24, 2004 - MUSIC NAZI
There is this lady at my work which we shall dub the Music Nazi. I am one of those people who can't concentrate with out a little noise or something in the background. I study with music or the television on and the same applies to work. So I have a small cd player next to my computer that I keep a cd in at all times. I keep the music down as not to distract others while they are working. It is so low even that when most people walk in to my cubicle they rarely hear it.

Well the Music Nazi has been complaining over the past month about my music being too loud and wants me to turn it off. That is it and she is really rude about it. The dumb thing is I have been in her cubicle (which is two down from mine) and you can't hear it in there. I have asked the other people that are right next to me and they can never hear my music. I don't know what her problem is, but I am afraid the day is going to come where she is going to get the entire buidling's music priviledges taken away.

The Music Nazi obviously is distracted easily because she can't even work with the person sitting in the cubicle next to her is talking - sounds like she has a serious problem and it really isn't me. I mean the days that she has complained to me about my music are when I am listening to classical music or Enya....not when I have on Counting Crows or Collective Soul. Odd! Anyways I think the whole thing is just stupid and I had to vent and get it off of my chest.

JUNE 23, 2004 - TAKING CONTROL
I have some new pictures of our kitten, who we named Annie (after my favorite photographer Annie Leibovitz).

I have noticed a change in myself lately. I am one of those people who has sat back and let others take control of my life. I worried too much about what other people thought of me and what I was doing...and usually that led to me not being happy. I have spent my life trying to make others happy instead of myself. Well about a month or so ago I decided to take control of my life instead of sitting back and waiting for others to do it for me.

One of the situations I have done this in is dating. I only go out when I have specific tickets to an event and I have to get a date and I usually ask the person I am the most comfortable with because I know them and I know that things will be okay. I don't like the risk involved of asking others out. Well there is this new guy in my ward and I thought he seemed nice and wanted to get to know him better. Well my friend got tickets to see a play at the Desert Star and wanted me to double with her. I was like "Who am I going to ask?" Well I decided to ask this guy, and lucky me, he said yes.

JUNE 22, 2004 - A NEW ADDITION
Yesterday my mom called me and asked if I wanted to get a new kitten. I wasn't sure if I was ready for that since Bailey has only been gone a few days. But I did some thinking, and decided to go look and see. Well there was one that I decided to get. She is a small calico and is about 3 months old. She is very loving and sits in your lap and just purrs. I haven't decided what to name her yet. I have one in mind, so we shall see.

Last night at FHE we did a picnic at a park in Taylorsville. It was kind of a speed dating thing. We sat on blankets with two guys and two girls. And rotated throughout the evening. It was more fun then I thought it would be, and I was able to get to know some new people.

JUNE 21, 2004 - SITUATIONS OF HAIR
Yesterday I made a pact with one of my friends. And I must say this isn't going to be an easy thing for me to do!

This friend likes long hair on girls. Well on Saturday I was debating going and cutting off my hair. And the first thing that came to my mind was that this person would not be happy if I did it. Well I mentioned this to my mom. (She has also wanted me to grow out my hair.) She suggested that I make a pact with this friend to not cut my hair until he had come home from his mission. Which would be around the end of 2006. So I mentioned this to him and he thought it was a great idea. So my hair is going to be growing out. I have always wanted to grow out my hair, but I don't have the patience for it...it always gets to that middle stage and I just want to shave my head bald! (refer to lower paragraph for more on this topic) So here goes nothing!

Another friend has offered me a sum of money to shave my head bald (we are talking no hair at all!) and I have been seriously considering it. One because it is so not me....I mean I have joked about buzzing my head, but never really seriously considered doing it. Hmmmm....interesting.

Go vote on our new poll! Plus there is a new spotlight, featured pic, and fab film line!

JUNE 19, 2004 - A LOSS
I am not sure if anyone is going to understand how I am feeling, but I have had a rough day. Sometime during the night last night, my cat Bailey passed away. I have had her since I was 9 years old. I named her after my favorite cartoon at the time, Beetle Bailey. I used to dress her up in doll clothes and rock her in my craddle.

JUNE 18, 2004 - BOYS vs GIRLS
I spent most of my childhood going back and forth between being glad that I was a girl and wishing I was a boy. I loved dressing up - having my hair done curly and wearing dresses that twirled. But I always hated it when I would play with my friends (which were mostly boys) and they made me be Princess Leia or She-Ra because I was a GIRL, when all I wanted was to be Hans Solo or Skeletor! (so I was weird - what can I say?) I mean don't get me wrong - She-Ra was cool and all but I liked getting to be the hero or the villain.

My friend was telling me about a class she is taking and how they were discussing stereotyping. Like how men aren't supposed to show their emotions - like crying. And that women are the "weaker" sex. (knowing some of the girls that I do - I could fight that one!)

Anyways here is what I came up with is that gender roles are very important, I mean there are things that each sex is better at, but I do think that no matter who you are ... we should all be free to be the person we want to be. If you are female and you want to be Skeletor - then dang it! Be Skeletor! If you are a guy and like the color pink - then wear the color pink! Our differences make us special, and are not there to limit us.

JUNE 17, 2004 - FACES PEOPLE MAKE
Being the photographer that I am, I have taken all kinds of pictures - some of people dancing, people walking, people sitting, people laughing, kids playing, etc...

My new calling at church is the ward photographer and it has been fun to see these pictures. Last night I downloaded all the pictures of the members of my ward and today I am sorting them out. It is interesting to see who is photogenic and who is not. One thing that I have to say about these pictures is - the nicer you are to the camera, the nicer it is to you. If you complain and say "I hate having my picture taken!" then your picture is going to probably be ugly! But if you smile and try to enjoy having your picture taken, then it will probably look very nice. Just thought I would share.

JUNE 16, 2004 - LIGHTHOUSES
A couple weeks ago in Relief Society we had a lesson where the teacher talked about how each of us has lighthouses in our lives. I have done a lot of thinking ever since I heard that - who are my lighthouses? and do they realize how much I appreciate them? I have figured out who these people are and I am going to try really hard to let them know how much I appreciate the light that they have put into my life.

JUNE 15, 2004 - CHILDHOOD MEMORIES
Last night some friends and I went to Iceberg for shakes. All over their walls were old lunch boxes. It made me start thinking about when I was a child and the things I liked, was involved in, etc... I have added a bunch of new pictures to the gallery from my life through out the years. Go look.

There is a new spotlight & poll!

JUNE 14, 2004 - WHITE COAT PHOBIA
When I first started working at my current job, my boss told me a story about how he has what he has dubbed as white coat phobia. He hates going to the doctor's office. He gets sick to his stomach before he goes. Well that is how I feel today. I rarely get nervous about going to the doctor, but today things feel different and I am quite a bit nervous. I just pray all goes well. I am probably worried about nothing.

JUNE 13, 2004 - A MASKED LIFE
Do you ever wonder just what life is all about? I have been doing some thinking over the past few days about what MY life is all about. Lately, nothing has appeared to be what I thought it was. I am really happy as a whole, but things that I thought were one way are proving to be different. It has left me feeling a bit unsettled.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!

JUNE 11, 2004 - THE HUES OF LIFE
Color is an amazing thing. I love the colors orange, pink, yellow, etc... they just make me happy. When I was younger I had the chance to live in Germany for three years. While there we had the chance to go to Berlin (before the wall was taken down) and the city was so drab and really had no color. Even the street lights were dimmed and had a greyish tint to them. It left me feeling so sad and depressed. I am so grateful to have colors in my life. Color brings vitality and much, much more to the world that we live in.

If you haven't noticed I did a totally new layout for the site. The new theme was chosen because I am getting so excited to see The Phantom of the Opera in 21 days (but who's counting?)

P.S. It's amazing what a new dress can do for a girl!

JUNE 9, 2004 - PART 2 - SCREAMING
Do you ever just want to scream or cry and let out all of the emotions that are bubbling up inside? But no matter how hard you cry or how loud you scream, it never really takes away the frustrations that life hands you. I mean it might make you feel better for a moment (I have a few friends who enjoy driving and screaming out the window at the top of their lungs)

Right now I am at work and I am as bored and bored can be. I just want to scream "LET ME OUTTA HERE!" But that isn't going to happen (and even if it did it wouldn't help anything - people would just look at me like I was crazy) and I still have approximately two hours left.

JUNE 9, 2004 - UNCOMMON COMMON SENSE
It amazes me just how little guys understand girls! I know this goes the other way too, but it is so funny just how much we don't understand members of the opposite sex! And the true question is "Will we ever?"

JUNE 8, 2004 - YOU ARE ALWAYS ON MY MIND
Have you ever had the experience where you are driving along in your car listening to the radio or a cd and a song comes on and instantly you are taken back to a moment from the past, or a person comes to mind? Well this happens to me on a regular basis.

Last night I was riding home in my Jeep after F.H.E. and on came a song that I love and instantly someone came to mind. But then again this person had been on my mind all day long...so all it did was make me think of them more. It has been really hard for me lately to think of this person because there is a situation involving this person and there is nothing I can do to change it. They have to do this on their own, and it is so hard to sit back and wish there was something I could do to help things along. I guess I will just sit here and listen to my music and wait for things to run their course.

JUNE 7, 2004 - THE ALMOST PERFECT WEEKEND
I had the most awesome weekend for my birthday. Nothing really exciting happened, it just was nice and fit what I would have wanted. To spend time with the people I care about the most.

Saturday night I had plans to go out with my friends Ben & Phil. I was on my way over when their brother Matt called me and asked me if I had brought my camera. I found it odd, but I did turn around and go get my camera. Then Matt called me again to make sure I was still coming, and I knew that something was up. I got there and in their front yard was four very closely shaved guys. The four brothers had all shaved their heads. I must say I was rather surprised. Well we ended up spending the next few hours at our friends Travis & Shiloh's house "bicing" their heads bald! If you want to see pics, go here.

Well once that was done we went down to temple square and walked around. It was so nice out. We were over by the Assembly Hall and there was music playing from one of the speakers. It presented such a peaceful atmosphere. We ended up sitting by the reflecting pool and looking at the temple and talking. How beautiful it was! Next we went and got ice cream at Leatherby's (yummy Traci's Peanut Butter Cup sundae!) and then went to a park and played on the swings.

On Sunday it was a quiet day as a whole, but I had a few friends over for dinner after church and went to ward prayer. It was nice.

I feel so blessed in my life to have such amazing people. So many are "lighthouses" and I know I can always count on them.

I have added pics from my birthday. (unfortunately I forgot my camera on Friday night - urgh!) Updated the spotlight, fab film line, etc.

JUNE 5, 2004 - HARRY POTTER & THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN
Yesterday I went with my friend Matt to see the new Harry Potter movie. I liked it, but was quite a bit disappointed. The third book is my favorite of the series and when they made this film, they left so much out. And from what I heard the new director has only read this book, and he doesn't realize just how important some of the information he left out is. I have been antisipating this film for almost two years and was let down.

Last night I went out with some of my friends to celebrate my birthday which is tomorrow. We ate at Red Robin and then went to the drive-in and saw - Harry Potter. I was so tired, I think I slept through most of the night. But I haven't been to the drive-in in about a year, so it was fun. Tonight I have plans with some good friends and I am really looking forward to it.

JUNE 3, 2004 - THE HEART GROWS ...
I love the smell of lavendar, the feel of rain on my face, the taste of chocolate covered raspberries, walking in the sand along the beach, receiving a letter in the mail, kisses & hugs from children (and adults), laughing with a friend, and much more. I think the feeling of love is one of the most amazing things! The heart just continues to grow as we learn to love new things and discover more and more that life has to offer us.

JUNE 2, 2004 - FREEDOM TO CHOOSE
Agency ... what an amazing gift we have been given. The freedom to choose. The freedom to make choices in this life. I remember on my mission how many people would ask me if there is a God then how come He lets young children die and let's dictators cause havoc on the world? I thought a lot about this, because the God that I believe in is an all powerful and loving Father. Here is what I came up with:

Heavenly Father has promised each of us agency as one of the gifts to help us on this earth. We each have the power to choose for ourselves between right and wrong. And by so doing, He chooses not to take that away from anyone. And unfortunately some people use thier agency in a way that it causes problems for some of Heavenly Father's other children. When that happens He does what he can to help us deal with it.

JUNE 1, 2004 - FIVE DAYS - BUT WHO'S COUNTING?
Only five more days. Five more days until I turn 27 years old. Someone close to me asked me what I had to show for the time I have spent these past 27 years. And it really got me to thinking. What have I accomplished?

This past year has been one full of struggles and pain. But I have grown so much through the experiences that I have been delt. I was reading a talk by Bruce C. Hafen from April's general conference and something he said really hit me. "So if you have problems in your life, don't assume there is something wrong with you. Struggling with those problems is at the very core of life's purpose. As we draw close to God, He will show us our weaknesses and through them make us wiser, stronger. If you're seeing more of your weaknesses, that just might mean you're moving nearer to God, not farther away."

It is like it says in Ether 12:27 "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."

This past year has also brought me much joy in the form of some amazing and caring friends. With their help, I have proven to myself that I can over come some things that have up until now proven to just be too hard to deal with. I am not perfect, but I am on the path to becoming better.

So what have I accomplished in the past 27 years? I have gained a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I have shared that testimony by serving a mission in Indiana. I have become a stronger person through the joys and trials of my life. I have seen the beauty of this world that was created for us. I have gained knowledge, both secular and spiritual. I have become the person that I am today, a daughter of God. And in my opinion, it has been a pretty successful 27 years. May the 28th be as successful.

P.S. I updated the spotlight, fab film line, etc....and added the June calendar. Plus new pics from the Race for the Cure a few weeks ago. And be sure to vote in the poll!

P.S.S. I am saddened by the giraffelessness of this situation!

MAY 28, 2004 - THE WORLD KEEPS SPINNING
First things first - HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARAH BETH!

Change .... something that I like and enjoy having in my life most of the time, but today it is something that I am dreading. A few things that I value in my life will be changing in the next few weeks and I am not looking forward to it. I think that this will bring some good things in a way, but over all the change will leave me feeling slightly empty, like leaving a void in my heart.

I received this story today and wanted to share...Sand and Stone.

MAY 27, 2004 - I'M BACK!
I am back! My computer has been down being reformatted the past few days. But now I am back and ready to go. They also updated my version of dreamweaver so that is taking some time to get used to it.

Monday night was the Stake Sports Night BBQ. We played ultimate frisbee and ate hamburgers! Yummy! And of course I have pictures.

Last night was a "surprise" party for Sarah Beth & Tania. Unfortunately the group isn't too good about keeping secrets! ;o} We had a great time. You guessed it - pictures.

MAY 24, 2004 - DUMB COMPUTER
I am ready to throw my computer out the window! Ever since last Friday it has been freezing up and doing other really dumb things. Our computer administrator has been trying to fix it, but so far nothing has worked. I swear that sometimes these things have a mind of their own!

Had a nice weekend. My best friend Emily is in town, and this weekend her husband Jeff blessed their little boy, Spencer and had a birthday party for their daughter Meagan. Here are pictures.

Added a new poll! Please go take! Also updated the fab film line & the spotlight.

MAY 21, 2004 - IN THE DETAILS
Last night I watched the movie Win a Date with Tad Hamilton! and one of the main themes of the movie is what is love? It made me truly think about that. One of the lines in the movie says that you fall in love with the details. I think that is a very true thing. And watching this made me think back over the people I have liked in my life. I have never been in love. I have loved only three of the guys I have been interested in. And the things that made me love them are the little things that made them the people that they are. It is the little things like the way they talk about their families, the crazy jokes they tell, the way they live their testimonies, etc. that made me love them.

MAY 20, 2004 - PART 2 - CHOCOLATE
I am sitting here eating a delcious piece of European chocolate and am very happy with this situation. When I thought to myself. How can something so delicious not be beneficial? So I did some research and decided to share with you what I found out.

TIDBITS OF INFO: The scientific name of chocolate is theobroma cacao and translates to literally mean "Food of the Gods". Chocolate is the number one food craved by women and is second for men after pizza. North American's spend approximately $8.9 billion per year and eat about 12 lbs per person each year.

HEALTH BENEFITS: Chocolate contains essential trace elements and nutrients such as iron, calcium and potassium, and vitamins A. B1, C, D, and E. Cocoa is also the highest natural source for Magnesium. The high Magnesium content of Chocolate is beneficial for the Cardiovascular System and hypertension. The fat in high quality plain chocolate (although technically a 'saturated fat') can be considered cholesterol free as it does not fur up the arteries or contribute to high cholesterol levels. Natural opiates are released by the brain in increased amounts when eating chocolate, thereby elevating one's mood and reducing pain.

MAY 20, 2004 - WANTED
After a hilarious email commentary yesterday, I made this poster. I thought everyone would enjoy! It makes me laugh everytime I look at it!

MAY 19, 2004 - COME BACK MICHAEL! COME BACK!
I am feeling quite miffed with the ABC network. I guess I should explain. Anyone who knows me even a little bit knows that I LOVE the show Alias. It is my favorite tv show ever and I watch it faithfully every single week...and if I miss an episode I cry.

Well I just found out that ABC has renewed Alias for next year, but after Sunday's season finale there won't be another new episode of Alias until January 2005! That is SEVEN MONTHS without a new Alias episode! SEVEN MONTHS without Michael Vartan on my tv screen! What am I going to do?!??!?

MAY 18, 2004 - STRENGTH
Last night I went with my ward up to hike Donut Falls up Big Cottonwood Canyon. It was absolutely gorgeous - plus it was fun to play in the snow! Go here to see pics!

Hiking up there helped me realize something - I am becoming stronger. The more I work out my legs - hiking, running, walking, etc... the stronger they become and the more capable I am to do those types of things. I think that is how life is too. The more we work ourselves out, the stronger our spirits become. I am seeing this in my life. As I have worked hard to strengthen my soul, the stronger a person I am becoming.

P.S. The War is On!

P.S.S. I hope everyone likes the new layout!

MAY 17, 2004 - LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE
How wonderful is the ability to laugh? I absolutely adore it. It really makes you feel so good inside - so happy! And this is a good thing, because I have one of those laughs that is totally contagious and I like to use it as much as possible.

Saturday night I laughed harder then I ever think I have before. It felt wonderful!

Here are pics from our trip up Big Cottonwood Canyon.

P.S. Updated the spotlight, poll (be sure to go take it), featured pic and the fab film line.

MAY 14, 2004 - LIFE LESSONS
This week has taught me so much about myself and about my life. I have learned that being you is the only person you should ever try to be. I have spent a good chunk of my life trying to be what others wanted me to be and I have never been happy no matter how hard I tried. And even though you are doing it to make others happy, they don't usually end up happy either. So what's the point?

I have learned that the things that make me unique (my laugh, the fact that I talk a mile a minute, etc...) are the things that make me special and lovable. I learned that the things that matter most to me are my family, my friends, and the gospel. That as I live the gospel and try to stay close to my best friend, my Savior, that I am doing alright.

I have learned that the friends that are worth having are the ones who accept you the way you are, who stand by you during the good and the bad times. They realize that you aren't perfect, but that you are trying. That true friends know just when you need a hug or a smile to lift your spirits. They talk to you about things even when it is hard and always try to be honest. That they send funny emails and commentaries that help you get through a long and boring day at work. ;o) Friends are people you can be yourself with - laugh with and do crazy pranks with. Friends are people who inspire you to be better.

MAY 12, 2004 - THE HEART
I am a firm believer in the importance of friendship and love. I believe that every person who is a part of your life is there because Heavenly Father wants them to be. Each person makes a difference in the person that you are.

I just wanted to take this time to thank all those who have been a part of my life that I have loved and cared for! I have been blessed in my life to have some amazing friends. Thank you for touching my life and helping to make me the person that I am today.

MAY 11, 2004 - POWER OUTAGES & LOADED QUESTIONS
Last night was FHE ... we had a lesson on joy and then played some pool afterwards. Then a group of us went to Chili's (you'd be amazed at how long it took us to come to that decision!) and then headed out for a night of games.

Yesterday was a very windy day. It was so bad that it even caused power outtages all over the valley. On the way to FHE the power was out past Bangerter - cars were backed up quite a ways. I am so grateful for electricity! You don't realize how much you use it until their is a power outtage and you don't have it.

Be sure to vote in our new poll!

MAY 10, 2004 - MOTIVATION IS A POWERFUL THING
I did it! I ran the 5K. I almost backed out because I still wasn't feeling too hot, but I really wanted to do it because I have never done anything like that before and I wanted to prove that I could. And I did it! Yipee!

Pictures are here.

Updated the poll, spotlight, fab film line, etc.

MAY 7, 2004 - WEEKENDS & MOTHERS
Well I am back to work and feeling somewhat better. Which is good because the weekend is almost here - only two more hours and about 19 minutes to go! I have survived this weekend on a Mt. Dew high - I am surprised I am not comatose yet!

This weekend is Mother's Day! Be sure to let your mom know how much you love her. Even though we should be doing it on a regular basis, I am glad that there is a day for us to help remember the special women in our lives that have nurtured us and given us life. Mothers are such a blessing to us.

MAY 6, 2004 -WRESTLING & WATER FIGHTS
What a fun Cinco de Mayo party that was! We barbecued hamburgers and danced to latin music - but the true fun came when a harmless game of hot potato turned into a full blown water fight! (thanks to Brenda) Plus "playful" C.J. decided to join us in full force! Go here to see the pictures!

Everyone that knows me knows how much I love music & movies. Well thanks to a good friend of mine, my musical taste has really expanded as of late. My current fave is Counting Crows. I have had the song American Girls stuck in my head the past three days (which explains the song of the moment). Music is so amazing... it can really make you happy, help you relate, evokes emotions, helps you get your groove on, etc. It is so amazing! What a gift it is to us!

MAY 5, 2004 - FLAT ON MY BACK
Well I spent the majority of last night home laying on my couch watching tv - being sick is no fun whatsoever.

Work has been so slow the past two days that I have been bored out of my mind! I have used the time to catch up on some of the Home Star Runner features that I haven't watched. I love the Strong Bad emails - you can check the newest one out here!

Today is Cinco de Mayo! Everyone go celebrate by getting your groove on and shake those hips!

MAY 4, 2004 - TACOS & POOL
Last night was FHE and we had a lesson on emotions (timing was impeccable) and then they did Country Dancing. I mostly just watched the dancing and talked with some of my friends. Afterwards we made a run for the border and then went to a friend's house and played pool.

Correction - the story that I posted yesterday I learned was not actually done by Elder Perry. I am not sure who wrote it, but the church put out a thing saying it wasn't done by anyone in the quorum of the twelve so I am removing it from the site.

MAY 3, 2004 - BREAKING DOWN
What an emotional weekend this was for me. I have been totally loosing it a little bit at a time for the past week and I finally totally lost it on Sunday. It is hard to describe what is wrong with me, when I am not even sure myself. Hopefully the changes I am making this next week will help things to get better.

On Friday & Saturday our ward went up to Timp Lodge to participate in a Book of Mormon retreat. It is always a refresher to my soul to participate in such an activity. The spirit really helps me to feel uplifted. It motivates me to want to be better and to make necessary changes in my life. Pics are here.

Finally saw the movie Casablanca. I highly enjoyed it.

Added Joy's pictures from Moab.

Updated the fab film line, spotlight, poll, etc. Plus a few new friend pages.